An offer you can't refuse

Rentapal,

Some of your responses seem a little less friendly than they could be, and it think it might be hurting your business. I think what you need is a real friend-- someone to listen to YOUR problems after a long day of putting up with those of your clients.

You see, I believe that your unique business provides something that your clients just can't find anywhere else: sanity. Unfortunately, selling so much of it off seems to be leaving you with a deficit, but that's OK!

I can replenish your stores for about $3 per letter or phone call. The major benefit to this method is that you'll never have to pay for sanity you don't need, and if that wasn't enough to convince you, there's no limit to how often we can talk!

As long as I stay sane, you'll stay sane, and so will all of your incredibly lucky clients. You'll even have enough sanity not to publicly share clients' private details or belittle people seeking advice, and your client-base will grow.

Ultimately, your income and quality of life will both improve. How can you say no to that? I'd love to be your friend, Rentapal.

Some restrictions apply. See psychiatrist for details.
Cheers
Daniel (not the dentist, but vodka & elvis rule!)



Dear Daniel,
That is indeed a great offer, and your reasoning is quite logical. There's just one problem: I would never claim to be "sane" in the first place. So, as tempting as your offer is, I would not want to put my sanity status at risk by utilizing your services. If, on the other hand, if you would like to lose some of your sanity, then feel free to utilize more of my services.