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Dear Rentapal,
I have flatulence. I've tried every pill and change of diet but to no avail. I fart 300 or more times every day. Big, loud and ferocious farts. I used to be ashamed but now I'm proud of my ability to clear an elevator in 3 seconds or to open up space in a crowded subway car. My friends (who've learned to keep their distance and have fans on all the time I'm visiting) all say I should be in the Guinness Book. Should I pursue a cure or a career?
Ignatz
Dear Ignatz,
Congratulations on your special gift. Perhaps you can go very far by blowing audiences away with your talent. Before deciding to become a professional farter however, you might want to check out the competition. Do you have what it takes to go up against this?
http://www.fart-sounds.net/jingle-bell-fart-song.htm
there was a guy on Howard Stern's show a few years ago who could play full songs with his farts. Now that's talent baby!
ReplyDeleteI believe there used to be a channel on youtube where he just farted in different positions and stuff. I don't know if his profile got removed or he stopped doing it. you should look into it.
ReplyDeleteCould be celiacs disease... perhaps a doctor could advise?
ReplyDelete