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Dear Rentapal
I've been having trouble at work and with my wife and need a friend to tell me everything is ok
Rex
Dear Rex
A true friend will tell you what you really need to hear, not what you think that you need to hear. If you are having trouble with your job and with your wife, then everything is not alright! You need to do three things immediately - -
1. Buy your wife two dozen roses for no reason at all - with no explanations or discussion. Just hand them to her (or have them delivered) with only a note that says "Love, Rex" and go back to whatever you were doing, as if nothing happened. The rest will take care of itself.
2. Have congratulatory flowers anonymously delivered to you at your office with no note attached. Don't give any kind of explanation and don't discuss them with anyone. If questioned, just laugh and say "I don't know what they are for or who sent them." It will create a sense of intrigue around you.
3. Start a subscription to have the Wall Street Journal delivered to your office, addressed to you, with the title of "President". If anyone asks about it, deny any and all knowledge. Within one year you will be in a better job - either at this company or another. Your pal, Paul
Your Pal,
Paul
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