"Coping Sex" with My Ex

Dear Rentapal,
My boyfriend of 9 months and I recently called it quits. That's the longest I've ever been with a guy. I still care about him and remember a lot of the good times, but there were just things that we couldn't work through, causing us to split. One of my ex boyfriends (also a friend ) has offered me a 'shoulder to cry on,' speaking euphemistically. He offered me 'coping sex,' no strings attached. I don't feel ready for it at all right now, but I fear that I will in the near future. I want to keep him as a friend, but I also don't want to destroy my self-esteem by sleeping with someone I'm not in a relationship with (I've done it before and it hurts). What's your advice for getting over a breakup like this?
Alison

Dear Alison,
9 months isn't a terribly long time to have dated, so it shouldn't take you too long to get over your most-recent ex, and move-on with your dating life.

If having 'coping sex' with your other ex will make you feel bad, then it sounds like you've already answered your own question. Also, who is he kidding? No strings attached sex is what most guys dream about. It seems like he would be doing more of a favor for himself than for you!

Too Fat For My Girlfriend

Dear Rentapal
My girlfriend says I'm too fat and wants me to lose weight or else she will leave me. We've been dating for about a year already, and we have a pretty good relationship, except for this. I thought that maybe we could get married one day but now I don't know. Is she being too superficial?
Dave

Dear Dave,
I'd suggest asking her to clarify something. Is she asking you to lose weight because she is concerned about your health or because of more superficial reasons? If she's asking because she's concerned about your health, then I'd suggest that you get a medical checkup and share your doctor's advice with your girlfriend. If your doctor wants you to lose weight, then maybe your girlfriend can help you to work on this. If your doctor says there's no problem, then maybe your girlfriend will forget about it.

if she wants you to lose weight for more superficial reasons, then you should decide whether those reasons are important to you, personally. There's nothing wrong with wanting your spouse to look their best, but if you both feel strongly opposed on this issue, then maybe it's not the right relationship for either of you.

Let's ask the Rentapal audience to help with this one - Readers, let us know what you think!
Rentapal poll-breakup because of weight?

Which Man Do I Choose?

Hi Rentapal-
I'm essentially dating two guys right now (bitchy, I know). One guy I've dated for a few years and he's very intelligent, but plays video games all day and has a low sex drive. The other guy that I've been friends with for about a year and dated only a little bit has great chemistry with me, but has disappointed me in terms of schooling, drinking more than I think he should, etc. My problem is that guy #2 seems to love me more than #1, and I am much happier with #2. I'm just concerned about #2's future. Who do I go with? (Also keep in mind that I'm at the same university with these guys and we're all 21 years old)
Thank you Rentapal,
Melissa

Dear Melissa,
Let's see. Number 1 is smart, but a video junkie with low sex drive. The question is: can you get him to think about video less and you more? Try dressing up as one of his favorite video game characters, and asking him to "play" you until he reaches a new high-score.

For number 2, maybe you can lower his alcohol drive a bit by showing him this: "Alcohol causes loss of libido, impotence, and sterility in males." Can you make him smarter too? Well, maybe if he starts to drink less he'll take up some new activities like reading (just make sure that he doesn't take up video games).

Try both of these methods and see which guy improves the most!