Addiction to female under arm hair

hi Paul, I hope you can help me, I'm in a spot of bother.

I've got an addiction that I'm struggling to contain, it's taking over my life. I've lost my wife, my kids, the car, even the dog...all because of my fascination/love of under arm hair.

It all started when I went on a camping holiday in France two years ago. Everywhere I went I saw women with big bushy armpits walking around. At first I wasn't sure what to make of it, but by the end of the holiday, I found myself paying for 'special massages' with the campsite masseuse. She had perfect underarm hair, and an accent to die for! I kept in touch with her after the holiday, but I soon found myself trying to figure out ways of meeting other women with under arm hair. I turned to online dating and managed to find a local woman with a great body, and lovely arm hair...It was a bad move, my wife found out, and my life was turned upside down very quickly. The woman I met wasn't impressed with the fact I had cheated on my wife, and now I find myself alone, struggling to find my next hit of female under arm hair.

I guess I should have just suggested to my wife that she let her hair grow a bit, but its far too late for that now. I'm 40 next month, and it feels like my life is ending (not beginning). I'm not looking for a solution Paul, I just need a friend. Please help me buddy, I've literally got no one else to turn to.

Hope u r well.
Roger


Dear Roger
I agree that you should have just asked your wife, first. But since it's too late to fix that, you might want to think about how your hair fetish will fit in with other aspects of future relationships. After your initial excitement with underarm hair dissipates, you'll still be left with all the other aspects of any relationship - compatibility, communication, romance, etc.

You could use Internet dating services to advertise for women with hairy armpits, but I'd bet that this would limit your options. You'll do best by meeting women under more typical pretenses, and simply mentioning your interest in underarm hair upfront. This way, you'll know quickly whether they are willing to share, or at least explore, your preference and you can move on from there.

for more on this topic, see
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Underarm_hair
http://hair.lovetoknow.com/Armpit_Hair

Is he telling me the truth?

Dear Rentapal

Well after a year of not saying something, I finally got the motivation to tell a good friend of mine that I liked him a lot, and he likes me too. But only problem is he has a girlfriend. Now he keeps telling me you never know what could happen with him and I but I don't want him cheating on her with me. And plus she knows where I live, and I don't think she likes me much anyway. Now should I just stick it out and wait, or just go on with my life and hope maybe in the future it could really happen? I waited a year to tell him how I felt, what's the worst that could happen?
Becky

Dear Becky,
Go on with your life! If he is telling you "you never know" while he's still dating someone else, then there's no reason to expect him to act differently when he's dating you. There are plenty of other men out there.

Bowl cuts: are they in or out?

Hi there rentapal,

we need to find ourselves some hot men, like yourself!! we are considering a change of appearance in the form of a hair cut... in particular a 'bowl-cut'. What are your views rentapal?

from the 2 fun loving and hair challenged aussie chicks
xxx

Dear fun loving Aussie chicks,
Sorry to tell you that unless your heads are shaped like a collection of fruits, bowl-cuts are definitely out. Indeed, they were never in, no matter how many people had them. For help in finding the right haircut, try this site - http://www.thehairstyler.com/

I'm lonely

Dear Rentapal

i came across this site and thought i would just talk to you..i feel so alone all the time. Ever since my ex bofriend broke up with me which was the same time my 2 best friends went overseas i have had no one. Everyone that we knew when my 2 friends were here act like i dont even exist. Every weekend i sit at home becuase i have nothing to do with the friends i dont have. I used to have so many friends now no one its such a strange feeling i dont know what to do but i feel like crying most of the time. Sometimes i wish i had someone to talk to other than my parents and im only 19 life shouldnt be like this! neways im sure thats enough. thanks for listening i guess.
Melisssa

Dear Melissa
You are still young and will have many opportunities to make new friends as time goes on. What kinds of things are you interested in? Why not join some clubs or groups with others who share your interests? That is a great way to make new friends.

Your pal

Paul

I need help understanding somethin

Dear Rentapal

yeah my question really is about yourself here Paul, I am just wondering how you came up with this idea of rent a friend and if you feel that by charging people money to see you is really prostition in itself. I mean really man you are praying on people that really are in desperation with you advice that no offence has no professional backing at all. I just don't understand how a person like yourself can feel that by charging people twenty bucks an hour and by giving them possibly damaging advice you are somehow being there friend. It takes a person with a major allusion of grandeur to set up a site like this to lure people to your "bullshit" comments about them. In closing I would like to add that I thing you are the skum that is a byproduct of the internet. P.S I don't have a small penis so don't try to use grade school humor to mitigate the fact that you yourself are a crook. All the best!
Kimberly

Dear Kimberly
Considering that you have a female name, it is probably good that you do not have a small penis. Rentapal is not prostitution. Prostitution is the exchange of sex for money. "Palitution" is the exchange of friendship for money. By the way, you probably meant to say "preying" instead of "praying," to say "illusion of grandeur" instead of"allusion of grandeur," and to say "cook" instead of "crook." I make a great vegetable korma. Rent me for a meal one day - you'll love it!
Your pal
Paul

Alone on a trip

Dear Rentapal
I am going to L.A on April 10th to hang out with my friends. My girl friend and I planned this trip together, however she broke up with me on last Monday. Now I do not have anyone to go with. Iam open to any gender
Sanjay

Dear Sanjay
Since you are "open to any gender" you should find plenty of options in Los Angeles. bon voyage!
Your pal,
Paul

Should I wait?

Dear Rentapal

I'm in love with a woman whom I know is not in love with me. She's seeing other guys, but says I should wait, because she does like me and one day she might come around. Watcha think rentapal.

Dear Aaron
Forget about her and move on. She is just teasing you. Besides, one-way love is not healthy love.
Your pal,.
Paul

women don't love me

dear rent a pal,
i try so hard to get my lady friends to like me but it they just wont LOVE ME. theres one named kestrel who i just want to take into my room and take all her clothes off and give her a sunset rubdown with whipcream but she wont let me. what advice do you have for me.

Dear Farren
Maybe Kestrel doesn't like whip cream, maybe she is just not into you. Stop trying so hard and stop buying whip cream. Find some new hobbies and you can meet women who share the same interests as youl.
Your pal
Paul

DEAR RENTAPAL - is my wife a lesbian?...
My wife and I went out to a nightclub last week. I was talking with some people and when I went to look for my wife, I found her kissing another girl on the dance floor! She told me that they were just hugging and not kissing, but I know what I saw. The next day, she told me that she was just too drunk and didn't know what she was doing. What advice can you give me?
Pete

Dear Pete
Get back to the nightclub as soon as possible, buy your wife lots of drinks and hope that you get invited to the party.
Your Pal,
Paul

I need a breakup

Dear Rentapal
I have a boyfriend that i really don't like. I need to break up with him but he's a total sweetheart and I would feel bad! What should I do??
Danielle

Dear Danielle,
Find him a replacement girlfriend first. Bring her to your break-up, introduce them and then leave.
Your pal,
Paul

I need a hug

Dear Rentapal
I've been having trouble at work and with my wife and need a friend to tell me everything is ok
Rex

Dear Rex
A true friend will tell you what you really need to hear, not what you think that you need to hear. If you are having trouble with your job and with your wife, then everything is not alright! You need to do three things immediately - -

1. Buy your wife two dozen roses for no reason at all - with no explanations or discussion. Just hand them to her (or have them delivered) with only a note that says "Love, Rex" and go back to whatever you were doing, as if nothing happened. The rest will take care of itself.

2. Have congratulatory flowers anonymously delivered to you at your office with no note attached. Don't give any kind of explanation and don't discuss them with anyone. If questioned, just laugh and say "I don't know what they are for or who sent them." It will create a sense of intrigue around you.

3. Start a subscription to have the Wall Street Journal delivered to your office, addressed to you, with the title of "President". If anyone asks about it, deny any and all knowledge. Within one year you will be in a better job - either at this company or another. Your pal, Paul
Your Pal,
Paul

help keep the bullies away

Dear Rentapal
I used to get bullied a lot in grammar school and I wanted more than anything to have a friend. Would you extend your services to have a staff of rent-a-pals for the appropriate ages? I Thanks for listening,
Georgette

Dear Georgette,
That's a great idea! No need to look for additional Rentapals though - I can keep those bullies away!
Your pal,
Paul

I'm a bully

Hi Rentapal,
I get very bored in the workplace in my free time and I like to bug our office assistant, Tammy. She's from Oklahoma and my co-workers and I make fun of her because of the way people in OK speak and act. One day my co worker saw a show on noodling (catching fish with your bare hands) and decided that it would be funny to ask her if she noodles. Now the theme is stuck to her and we make fun of Tammy's "noodling" habits. Is this ok that its so funny or is it wrong?
Jakester

Dear Jakester,
It sounds like you were unloved as a child. You are misdirecting your self-hatred at Tammy. Invite Tammy to lunch and stick up for her to the others. You will make a new friend, gain the respect of the others, improve your self-esteem, and noodle more fish...
Your pal,
Paul

Just curious

Dear Rentapal
I'm living in argentina and have no interest in renting you as a pal (no offence intended). I'm just curious as to what your motive is. I can imagine it started out as a purely economic one but it must have evolved with time and experience in the field. Isn't it bizarre to enter someone's life for a specific period of time and for a specific purpose and then leave? That's all Oh, and what's your professional background?
Patra

Dear Patra
Rentapal is both a public service and an interactive art project. It is a vision of the future, when everyone will rent everything - because after all, isn't everything just temporary anyway? To become Rentapal required much training and education. I received a PhD. in Applied Clinical Friendology from the prestigious Friendship University (or, as it is more affectionately known: "F.U.")
Your Pal,
Paul

Is it me?

Dear Rentapal
im a 31 year old man, my wife wont let me see her naked, it either has to be pitch black or under covers. She cant be shy because she works in a strip club. is it me?
Steve

Dear Steve
To see your wife naked, just visit the strip club - but be sure to tip her well. See how easy a solution can be?
Your Pal,
Paul

My job is driving me to drink

Dear Rentapal
I'm 32 years old and work in real estate sales in Los Angeles. It's a very high pressure industry and I drink just about every night to relieve the stress of my job. I find that I can't go through a night without at least a couple of drinks now. What should I do?
L.K.

Dear L.K.
Your occupation should make you feel fulfilled and satisfied, not drained and stressed. You are obviously in the wrong job and should change it as soon as possible. In the meantime, try this: http://www.wendi.com/alcohol
Your Pal,
Paul

ain't life a bitch?

Dear Rentapal
Why Does Everyone Have A Close Companion They Can Do Everything With But I Do Not ? Please Reply Awfully Quickly .. I Have No One To Talk To Besides My Ant Farm :( I Need A Friend !!!
Joshua

Dear Joshua
Ants can be great company. Did you name each one of them yet? That will take your mind off your loneliness.
Your pal,
Paul

low self esteem

DEAR RENTAPAL
i have trouble meeting women because i am awkward and have low self esteem. you seem like a handsome man...could you give me some advice?
Elie

Dear Elie
If you think I'm a handsome man, you have more than a self esteem problem. You really need to get out of the house more often!
Your Pal,
Paul

Oops! I farted on a first date

Dear Rentapal
I had a date with this great guy and accidentally farted while we were having dinner! Fortunately the waiter came to take our order so I didn't have to think of something to say. I quickly started a conversation about another topic after the waiter left, but I'm sure my date heard me fart! It was our first date, and over two weeks ago, and I never heard from him again. I'm so embarrassed. Should I call him or did I totally ruin my chances with him?
Beaniegirl

Dear Beaniegirl
There are two cardinal rules for first dates. No vomiting and no farting. Thou broketh the rule, and now thou must payeth the penalty! You blew it (so to speak). Forget him. You will never hear from him again. Consider a change in dietary habits.
Your Pal,
Paul

where did my money go?

DEAR RENTAPAL
Every time i get paid, i have no idea where all my money goes to? what should i do?
Nick

Dear Nick
Send it to me, Rentapal. This way, you will always know where it went.
Your pal,
Paul