A career in farting?

Dear Rentapal,
I have flatulence. I've tried every pill and change of diet but to no avail. I fart 300 or more times every day. Big, loud and ferocious farts. I used to be ashamed but now I'm proud of my ability to clear an elevator in 3 seconds or to open up space in a crowded subway car. My friends (who've learned to keep their distance and have fans on all the time I'm visiting) all say I should be in the Guinness Book. Should I pursue a cure or a career?
Ignatz

Dear Ignatz,
Congratulations on your special gift. Perhaps you can go very far by blowing audiences away with your talent. Before deciding to become a professional farter however, you might want to check out the competition. Do you have what it takes to go up against this?
http://www.fart-sounds.net/jingle-bell-fart-song.htm